SUV

SUV was the first song I wrote after my accident and the second song I ever wrote in my life.  The first line of the song is, “I got run over by an SUV.”  After my accident I spent a week at Massachusetts General Hospital.  Looking back, I can remember singing my heart out at times. Music was longing to come out of me.  My right ankle was broken and in a splint, my left leg had an eight centimeter laceration, my right knee had an un-diagnosed MCL tear and there were bruises and scrapes all over my body.  Worst of all though, was the concussion from hitting my head on the hood of the SUV. 

I could barely walk, barely stand, and moving my legs in any direction was painful.  I remember yelling, “Don’t touch the sheets!” for whenever the sheets moved against my skin it was excruciating.  My entire system was in shock and I found myself desperately trying to find a way to let out all that was brewing inside of me.  After three days, I figured out how to hobble around my room, with my walker on one leg.  Something that had once seemed so simple, walking, had become so hard.  I began moaning and belting at the top of my lungs longing to express my pain, anger, fear, and shock. It was primal and cathartic. For the first time since my accident I felt a bit of peace while singing.  Weeks later I realized that the vibrations that I had created from humming and singing helped ease the pain in my legs.  When I moaned and hummed it felt like electrical currents were running down my legs. Something deep inside of me was longing to get out.  I felt like my insides were roaring and begging to be expressed. 

About six weeks after I arrived home, I found myself coming up with song lyrics and recording them on my iPhone.  While lying in bed I would sing and continue to add lyrics to my recordings.  Thus my song writing began. 

With this new found interest, I called the Director of the North End Music and Performing Arts Center, Sherri Snow, to see if any of her teachers would be willing to come to my house for singing lessons.  Jack Byrne was up for the request.  My first lesson took place in my living room, while I stood on my left leg and leaned on my walker.  Within twenty minutes exhaustion set in.  The lessons were short, yet they were my favorite part of my week and were instrumental in my healing process.  Each week my stamina increased and my lessons would last a bit longer.  Throughout my recovery I continued to write additional songs through each stage of my healing. 

This song, SUV, tells the story of my accident, some of my recovery and touches on how difficult it has been on my family.  People don’t always realize how one person’s accident can so drastically affect a family dynamic.  I had no idea how challenging my own recovery would be.  I think this is part of the human condition, for if I had seen the challenging road before me I would have given up before I had even started.  It is cliché to say that an injury or an illness can either make or break you. Instead I think that it is YOU and how YOU decide to react depends on your own personality.  I am grateful that I am a, “Cup Half Full” kind of woman.  Some days the cup felt like it had a bottomless hole in it but luckily the next day I would usually find a bit of hope to keep me going.

I remember asking my then 12 year old niece, to listen to my SUV song while we were eating lunch at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital in Charlestown, MA on one of my of many physical therapy days.  She had accompanied me to my morning of appointments.  She is the type of girl that is not afraid to speak her mind.  I said, “I want you to listen to a song I wrote and recorded on my phone,”  she said, “OK Meggie,” and proceeded to put my earbuds in her ears.  She listened to the song and then said, “Meggie it is really long, but it’s catchy.”  I expected her to be upset or moved by the lyrics but that was not the case. She was right about it being too long and weeks later I did end up cutting a few verses.  My singing teacher calls it, “Trimming the Fat.”  I will let you decide if you think it is, “Catchy.”

To me this song is my baby. It is the story of the horrific accident that I survived. Over my recovery, numerous people told me how lucky I was and I did not really know how to take that. Inside I felt upset and thought it was UNFAIR that I got hit, NOT “LUCKY”. Almost two years later, I spoke to a man at a gym in Chicago. When I first walked into the gym I noticed he was doing exercises on a mat and that he had a prosthetic leg. It took nerve to approach him and talk about working out. I told him my story and he told me his. He too had his legs run over while crossing the street. Unlike me, his legs were run over by a tow truck and he lost one of them. At that moment it hit me, deep in my core that yes, I was VERY LUCKY!! This song tells the story of went through my head during the accident and some of my recovery.